Emotionally Focused Therapy for
Couples and Women in NYC & San Diego
Online Sessions Across NY, NJ, and CA
Are emotions getting you stuck in anxiety, depressed mood, or relationship conflict?
You’re feeling more stressed, anxious, or depressed and notice this isn’t the first time. You somehow keep falling into the same patterns over and over yourself and in your relationships no matter how much you try not to. Sometimes you see it and other times you don’t realize until much later. Looking back you try to figure out why these patterns end up the same but can’t seem to figure it all out.
This feels even more frustrating and out of your control so the anxiety and depressed mood get bigger and you tell yourself, “there’s just something wrong with me” and “I’m the problem”. Your emotions feel overwhelming so you either get caught in trying so hard to solve the problem by overthinking or numbing and shutting down. While this sometimes works short term, you know it’s not a long term solution in finally managing your emotions and breaking out of old patterns. You want to be able to understand yourself and your relationships better, have control over your feelings and thoughts, and find calm and confidence for your future.
What Is EFT?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a therapy method that is based in attachment, the science of belonging, that focuses on emotions and emotional regulation. It believes that you have good reasons why you feel, think, and do what you do even though those behaviors may not get you where you really want to be. It takes into consideration how your context of your family, society, and culture have shaped these patterns.
Individuals who've struggled for years can finally make sense of their thoughts, feeling, and behavior patterns, how these patterns impact them, and how to create more positive responses all while learning new coping skills to make life more manageable. Couples can go from constant arguing to communicating honestly, being vulnerable with each other, and feeling on the same team again.
How Does Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy Work?
Emotionally focused therapy helps individuals who feel stuck. The basic idea is that we always have a relationship with ourselves first. We can be our biggest supporters as well as our worst enemy.
EFT helps you understand your patterns of emotion, thoughts, and behaviors in a validating, non-judgmental way. It helps you work through difficult emotions and learn to manage them going forward. EFT helps you create a stronger connection with yourself so you can show up for yourself, in your relationships, and in the world the way you want to.
How Does Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Work?
Humans naturally need a partner who is accessible, responsive, and engaged. We need to feel seen, heard, and respected. This creates security in a relationship.
As an emotionally focused couples therapist, I am here to support you in identifying hurtful interaction cycles that keep you from having the security and connection you long for. Learning more about your triggers and relationship overall, you and your partner can get closer and replace negative patterns with behaviors that support trust, communication, and connection.You can start having fewer moments of arguing and more moments of light-heartedness, closeness, and calm.
What To Expect
From EFT
Validation & Empathy: The tenents of EFT are non-pathologizing and always working to acknowledge the way you've coped in the past worked then and how to figure out what will work better now.
Focus on Emotion: Whether you’re comfortable with some emotions or not comfortable with any, EFT helps you make sense of yourself and your relationships through emotion and uses emotion to create change.
Interaction Cycles: EFT helps identify negative interaction cycles and create more positive ones.
Vulnerability: EFT highlights the importance of vulnerability in connecting better with yourself and the relationships in your life.
Emotionally Focused Therapy Can Help You...
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Understand your emotions and how to regulate them
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Identify stuck patterns and how to change them
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Connect with yourself and your partner
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Create a stronger and more positive sense of self
Learn how to manage your emotions and see them as a positive tool in connecting with yourself and others.
FAQs
Is emotionally focused therapy evidence based?
Research shows that EFT Couples Therapy is about 75% effective. Follow-up studies with couples who participated in EFT therapy show that the positive benefits can last for years after therapy has ended.
How can emotionally focused therapy help?
Together we will begin to identify and understand the negative patterns in your life and how you get stuck in them. Once understanding these patterns, we can learn better ways to respond to yourself and create more positive patterns so you can live the way you've always wanted.