What Is EMDR Therapy—and Why It Was the Breakthrough I Didn’t Expect
My Experience with EMDR (and How It Helps Me Be a Better Therapist)
As a therapist, I’ve done my fair share of therapy. It’s often encouraged (and required) throughout graduate school and clinical training—not just to help us understand our blind spots, but to truly experience what it’s like to sit in the client seat.
Over the years, I’ve explored different therapy approaches. But nothing quite surprised me the way EMDR Therapy did.
I first heard about EMDR therapy through colleagues and trainings, and I kept thinking, “It sounds powerful, but does it actually work?” I wasn’t sure it applied to the kind of therapy I offer.
Most of my clients come in for:
Relationship challenges
Mild to moderate anxiety
Emotional triggers that feel confusing or hard to control
These don’t always get labeled as “trauma”—but I’d already seen, through my Emotionally Focused Therapy work, how many emotional struggles in relationships trace back to earlier experiences, even the subtle ones we often dismiss.
The more I learned about EMDR, the more I wondered “Could this help my clients get unstuck in a deeper way?” So I decided to pursue EMDR training but first I needed to know what it actually feels like to go through the process. What I found was far more impactful than I expected—and it’s changed how I show up in my own life and in the therapy room.
So... What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a somatic therapy, which means it focuses on the body—not just your thoughts.
The core idea: When we go through something distressing, the brain doesn't always process the experience fully, especially if we didn't have the support or space to deal with it at the time. When that happens, the experience can get “stuck”—not just in your mind, but in your body too.
One theory is that instead of moving into long-term memory like most things do, it stays active in short-term memory. That’s why certain present-day situations can trigger intense emotional reactions that seem bigger than the moment itself. You’re not overreacting. Your body is trying to protect you, based on something old.
EMDR helps to reprocess those experiences using bilateral stimulation—like eye movements or tapping—while you recall certain memories or body sensations. It might sound odd at first (I was skeptical too!), but it’s grounded in decades of neuroscience and trauma research.
Why I Decided to Try It Myself
Even after reading about EMDR, I still wasn’t sure what it would feel like. How could something like eye movements really shift how you feel? My curiosity pushed me to try it—not just as a therapist learning a new tool, but as a person who wanted to feel better.
Personally, I’ve experienced anxiety in my body more than in my thoughts:
A racing heart
Tightness in my chest
That familiar knot in the stomach
So when I started EMDR, the body-focused approach felt surprisingly right. At first, it looked a lot like talk therapy - exploring what brought me in, looking at my history, and practicing grounding techniques using imagery and body awareness.
Then we identified a target—a memory or present-day trigger to focus on. Sometimes it’s a clear event, and sometimes we use a process called a “float back” to trace a present-day feeling to its roots.
What Reprocessing Was Actually Like
Once we started reprocessing, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. You’re asked to focus on a distressing memory or feeling while doing bilateral stimulation. For me, that was guided eye movements. I remember thinking: Am I doing this right? Should I be feeling something different?
And then, things started coming up. Thoughts, body sensations, emotions, connections — some that made sense, and others that surprised me. But that’s the point: your body and brain know where to go. EMDR isn’t about forcing insight—it’s about noticing what shows up and allowing it to move. The job is to stay present, trust the process, and follow what comes up. It felt strange but freeing to stop trying to analyze everything and instead just notice.
As a therapist, going through this myself gave me a whole new level of empathy for my clients. I know even more what it feels like to:
Let go of control
Stay present with discomfort
Trust that something meaningful is happening, even if it doesn’t look like a breakthrough in the moment
How It Changed Things for Me—and How That Helps My Clients
After some time, something shifted. I couldn’t quite name it at first, but I noticed I felt calmer.
The knots in my stomach? Happening less often.
I could settle myself more quickly when overwhelmed.
I responded to stress from the present—not from past pain.
That’s huge. And it’s made me an even more grounded, attuned therapist.
Now, I bring EMDR into the therapy room with clients who feel:
Stuck in patterns they can’t break
Easily overwhelmed or reactive
Frustrated that insight alone hasn’t brought relief
Whether it's anxious attachment in relationships, ongoing self-doubt, or lingering hurt from earlier experiences—even ones that don’t feel “big enough” to be trauma—EMDR can help.
Could EMDR Help You Too?
You might benefit from EMDR if:
Your reactions feel bigger than the moment you're in
You’ve tried to “think your way out” of emotional triggers, but they still show up
You’ve made progress in talk therapy, but something still feels unresolved
EMDR isn’t about reliving the past. It’s about giving your nervous system a chance to finally process what it couldn’t at the time—so that you can:
Respond to life with more clarity and intention
Feel more grounded and calm
Create space for healing and a new confidence that you can handle anything that comes your way
If you’re curious about EMDR or wondering if it might help you, you’re not alone. Feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation or ask any questions you have. We can explore whether EMDR is a good approach for your goals and what the next steps might look like.
Healing is possible—and your body might already know the way.